Nobody's Girl Read online

  When the man left, Bernie went in to see Dolly, but he soon returned. ‘She’s asleep, but what about when she wakes up? I don’t know how I’m going to cope with her, Pearl.’

  Bernie looked sick with worry and, with a sinking heart, Pearl realised she’d have to remain. Bernie had always shown her kindness and she was fond of her father-in-law. She couldn’t abandon him now. She’d stay for a while, just until Dolly recovered, and then she’d be out of there like a shot.

  Dolly was up in less than a week, but she still looked awful and hardly spoke. Bernie seemed lost, creeping around his wife as though she was made of china. However, later that morning both he and Pearl were surprised when she suddenly surged to her feet, her voice strong and assertive again.

  ‘I’m going to see Kevin.’

  ‘You’re not up to it, love,’ Bernie protested.

  ‘I have to see him. He’s my son.’

  ‘All right, if it means so much to you, I’ll come along.’

  ‘No, Bernie, I want to see him on my own.’

  Nothing Bernie could say would prevent her, and when she left they felt as if they were holding their breath until she returned.

  One look at Dolly’s face was enough for them to realise her visit had been a mistake. She looked almost on the point of collapse, her eyes red and swollen from crying.

  ‘What happened, love?’ Bernie asked.

  ‘Kevin agreed to see me, but said it was for the last time.’

  ‘He said what?’

  ‘Oh, Bernie, he still blames me for everything and I … I think he’s right.’

  ‘Don’t be daft, Dolly. He tried to rob that jeweller – not you.’

  ‘Yes, but he only did it to get away from me.’

  ‘He’s just making excuses. If he wanted money to move out there was nothing to stop him from getting a job.’

  ‘Maybe, but he said I’m a dominant and interfering mother.’

  ‘Well, you certainly ain’t mouselike,’ Bernie chuckled, trying to inject a bit of humour.

  Dolly didn’t smile; instead her voice rose. ‘Kevin’s right then. I drove him to it!’

  ‘Leave it out, Dolly. You weren’t that bad and, if anything, you spoiled the lad.’

  ‘Didn’t I do anything right?’ she cried, running from the room.

  Bernie looked at Pearl, shaking his head in bewilderment. ‘I seem to be making a habit of putting my foot in it. I’ll go and see if she’s all right.’

  It wasn’t long before he came back. ‘She’s in a right old state and I think I’ll have to call the doctor again.’

  Pearl nodded, but her heart was heavy. She had hoped that Dolly was getting better, but now the woman had taken a step backwards. Oh, if only she could move out, but she still couldn’t bring herself to abandon her father-in-law.

  35

  It was mid-September and Pearl still hadn’t moved in with Bessie. She had no love for Dolly, but Bernie seemed incapable of looking after her. The doctor had put Dolly on medication and mostly she just sat, seeming to draw great comfort from just holding Johnny in her arms. Strangely, though, she always asked permission now before picking him up, and with all the housework, the washing, ironing and cooking to do, Pearl was sometimes pleased to hand him over to her mother-in-law. She had watched carefully, but hadn’t seen anything to make sense of Kevin’s accusations. Nevertheless, she remained vigilant, making sure that Bernie was always around before leaving Johnny in her mother-in-law’s care.

  Then, after all the waiting, Kevin was at last brought to trial, Dolly insisting that she was going to attend. As though it had brought her a new lease of life, she bustled around getting ready, only stopping her preparation when Bernie spoke.

  ‘The doctor has advised against this, but you just won’t listen. All right, go then, but you needn’t think I’m coming with you.’

  She hardly reacted, only closing her eyes for a moment before turning to Pearl. ‘What about you?’

  ‘Yes, I’d like to go, but I don’t want to take Johnny. Would you mind looking after him, Bernie?’

  ‘Of course I will – well, as long as you make sure you have his bottles made up.’

  Pearl smiled her thanks and went to get ready, afterwards preparing everything for the baby.

  Bernie insisted that she call a cab. Dolly hardly spoke during the journey, and when they entered the courtroom it was to find it packed, many locals showing an avid interest in the case.

  The chamber buzzed with voices, and a sea of faces looked at them as they sat down. Dolly kept her head low, Pearl surprised when she reached out to grip her hand.

  There was a hush as Kevin appeared in the dock, which continued when the judge entered the courtroom.

  The trial began, but after all Pearl’s nervous anticipation, it was quickly over. On his lawyer’s advice Kevin had pleaded guilty, and now the judge was looking at the medical evidence. The jeweller had recovered, but only just, the report revealing brain damage.

  Pearl’s found her eyes were fixed on the bench and the stern-faced judge. He looked grim as Kevin stood before him, and she gasped as he passed a sentence of fifteen years imprisonment.

  The courtroom came alive, buzzing with voices again, but Dolly slumped in her seat. Pearl thought she had passed out, and bent anxiously over her mother-in-law, but as Kevin was led away Dolly rallied enough to rise to her feet.

  ‘Oh, son,’ she cried.

  Kevin’s eyes flicked towards them, but then he was urged downstairs and out of their sight. Dolly stood transfixed, but Pearl took her arm, pulling her mother-in-law towards the exit.

  They emerged into bright sunlight, but it was the flash of a camera going off in Pearl’s face that made her blink. She hadn’t expected reporters, new headlines taking up the front pages, and now looked frantically for a taxi. One was coming and she raised an arm to hail it, almost bundling Dolly inside before slamming the door behind them.

  ‘Battersea High Street,’ she told the driver.

  ‘Oh, Pearl, I can’t believe it,’ Dolly whispered. ‘Why did Kevin plead guilty?’

  ‘With the amount of evidence against him, I don’t think he had any choice. If Kevin tried to plead not guilty and then lost the case, the judgement would have been harsher.’

  Dolly sunk low in her seat, dabbing at her eyes, and as the taxi drove off Pearl didn’t look back. Kevin was going to prison, he didn’t want to see her again, and that meant her marriage was over. Suddenly she felt a surge of freedom again, followed by another of shame. How could she feel like this when her husband had just been sentenced to fifteen years in prison? Yet as she closed her eyes against her guilt, Pearl found that nothing could mar her feelings of relief.

  Bernie was giving Johnny his bottle as they walked in, his eyebrows rising in enquiry. ‘Fifteen years,’ Pearl told him.

  ‘It’s what I expected,’ he said, but then as Dolly suddenly staggered he rose to his feet. ‘Pearl, take the nipper. I’ll see to Dolly.’

  She took her son, surprised when Bernie spoke firmly to his wife. ‘See, I told you not to go, and in future perhaps you’ll listen to me.’

  ‘Oh, Bernie …’ Dolly groaned.

  ‘Come on, let’s get you to bed,’ he said.

  As her father-in-law led Dolly from the room, Pearl saw that he was growing in stature. He seemed the leader now, Dolly clinging and the follower, but Pearl couldn’t help wondering how long this situation would last.

  As they left the room, Pearl sat down, popping the teat into Johnny’s mouth. She gazed at his face, seeing Kevin in his features. Her marriage was over, but he had given her Johnny and she would always thank him for that.

  When Bernie returned, his face was etched with worry. ‘Dolly’s taken the sentence really badly. I think she was clinging to the misguided hope that Kevin would get off.’

  ‘Maybe it would help if you get back to a routine again. Perhaps open the café.’

  ‘Dolly refuses to talk about the business and I’m real
ly worried about her. She’s becoming almost a recluse, only leaving the flat when she went to see Kevin. If we continue to live and work around here, I can’t see her ever getting back to her old self.’

  ‘Given time, she’ll bounce back.’

  ‘No, I don’t think so. She’s been brought too low, and I’ve been giving it some thought. I reckon we should sell up and move out of the area.’

  ‘Sell up! But where will you go?’

  ‘I ain’t thought that far ahead, but a nice little teashop in Devon or Cornwall would suit me. That nipper seems Dolly’s only comfort now, and as long as you’re with us, I reckon she’ll be happy to move anywhere.’

  Pearl drew in a breath. It was time to tell him, but she dreaded his reaction. ‘No, I’m sorry, Bernie, but I won’t be coming with you. My marriage is over, and though I feel sorry for Dolly, it wouldn’t be right to go on living with you.’

  ‘Don’t be daft. You’re family, and how you can bring Johnny up on your own? You’d need to earn enough to support you both, and you can’t work with a baby to take care of.’

  ‘I wouldn’t be on my own. Bessie has asked me to live with her.’

  ‘Well, yeah, you could do that, but do your really want to stay in this area? If you come with us it would be a fresh start, and nobody need know about the past.’

  ‘I admit I’d like to get out of Battersea, but I can’t face living with Dolly.’

  ‘Look, I know she gave you a rough time of it, but she’s different now. Please, Pearl, I need you. Until Dolly gets back to normal, I don’t think I can cope with her.’

  ‘Yes you can. You’re doing fine, but what about when she is back to her old self? She’ll try to take Johnny over again, undermining everything I do.’

  ‘I’ll see that she doesn’t,’ Bernie said, and, seeing Pearl’s expression, he smiled faintly. ‘There’s no need to shake your head in doubt. Things have changed, Pearl. I let Dolly get away with dominating me in the past, but I don’t intend to let it happen again.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Bernie, but Kevin urged me to get Johnny away from his mother, and though I don’t know what made him say that, he must have had his reasons. I don’t want my son hurt.’

  ‘Leave it out. Dolly loves the nipper – we both do – and neither of us would do anything to harm a hair on his head.’

  ‘I know you wouldn’t, Bernie, but when it comes to Dolly I can’t take that chance.’

  He shook his head sadly. ‘It’s madness, if you ask me, but it seems you’ve made up your mind. I just hope that I can still persuade Dolly to move.’

  Dolly didn’t surface until the following morning, her long hair hanging lacklustre down her back, and her complexion wan.

  ‘How are you feeling, love?’ Bernie asked as he lowered his newspaper.

  ‘I’m all right.’

  ‘Did you take your pill?’

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘Well then, how about having a cup of tea and a couple of slices of toast first?’

  ‘I’ll do it,’ Pearl offered, rising to her feet with the baby in her arms.

  ‘Can I hold him?’ Dolly asked.

  With Bernie in the room, Pearl didn’t mind, ‘Of course you can.’

  Bernie waited until Pearl left the room and then leaned forward, speaking earnestly. ‘Dolly, how do you feel about moving out of the area? We could sell up and buy a little tearoom in the West Country. Nobody would know about us and it’d be a fresh start.’

  ‘But that’s miles away! No, I need to be near Kevin.’

  ‘Dolly, he’s in prison and doesn’t want to see you.’

  ‘I know that, but he’s sure to come round. When he does, I’ll be able to visit him.’

  ‘Maybe, but even so, you won’t be able to see him every day. I’m only talking about moving to Devon or Cornwall, not Timbuktu.’

  With infinite gentleness Dolly stroked the baby’s cheek. ‘It might be nice for Johnny to grow up in the country.’

  Bernie knew there was no putting it off. Pearl had made up her mind to leave and he couldn’t see her staying for much longer. ‘No, love, Pearl won’t be coming with us. She’s moving in with Bessie.’

  A spark returned to Dolly’s eyes, her voice indignant, ‘She can’t take Johnny away from us. We’re his grandparents.’

  ‘She can, love. Now that the marriage is over, Pearl can do what she likes.’

  ‘Who said it’s over? Pearl is still Kevin’s wife and it’s her duty to wait for him until he comes out of prison.’

  ‘Dolly, for Gawd’s sake, you’re talking rot! He beat up a man, raped a woman and, if you ask me, Pearl’s better off without him.’

  Before his eyes, Bernie saw the transformation in his wife’s demeanour. The spark in her eyes turned to fire as she spat, ‘He didn’t rape that woman, and I am not talking rot. Like it or not, Pearl must stay with us. I’ve already lost my son, and I don’t intend to lose my grandson too.’

  ‘It’s Pearl’s decision,’ Bernie said.

  ‘She’ll move in with Bessie over my dead body.’

  ‘Dolly …’

  ‘Enough! I don’t want to hear another word about it.’ Dolly stood up and, finding a clean nappy, she laid the baby on the rug to change him.

  Pearl came back into the room, carefully balancing a tray, smiling at her son’s antics. He loved being free of the binding, his chubby legs kicking, and hands waving before going down to pull on his little penis. Dolly slapped it away, her voice loud. ‘Stop that, you dirty little boy,’ she cried. ‘Bad boy, it’s nasty to do that.’ Then, seeing Pearl, she added, ‘What’s this about you moving in with Bessie Penfold?’

  Dolly looked surprised when Pearl slammed the tray down before moving swiftly to her side. She picked the baby up, her face and voice tight, ‘Yes, that’s right.’

  ‘Well you can forget it.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘No buts. You’re Kevin’s wife and your place is with us. Bernie has suggested that we move out of the area and I think it’s a good idea. Mind you, Devon or Cornwall is a bit far, but Dorset would be all right. It’ll be lovely for Johnny to grow up in the country and while we’re waiting for Kevin to come home, we can all work together in a nice little tearoom.’

  Bernie held his breath, but Pearl didn’t argue, just saying, ‘Johnny needs a wash and then I’ll get him dressed.’

  Dolly, he saw, had a smile of satisfaction on her face. ‘See, I soon sorted her out. Right, Bernie, let’s see about getting this place on the market.’

  Bernie heaved a sigh. He should have stood up for Pearl but, like Dolly, he didn’t want to leave their grandson behind. ‘So, you fancy Dorset then?’

  ‘Yes, and the more I think about it, the better it sounds. We can offer sandwiches and homemade cakes, served on pretty china. There’ll be no more getting up at the crack of dawn to cook flaming breakfasts. Oh, I can just see it, Bernie. Lovely fresh white linen tablecloths and small vases of flowers on the tables.’

  ‘Sounds good to me, love.’

  ‘I’ll be able to spend a lot more time with Johnny.’

  Whilst they happily made plans, unbeknown to them, Pearl was rapidly making her own. She was stuffing clothes into bags before hiding them in the bottom of the wardrobe. She’d wait until that night, wait until her in-laws were asleep, and then she was getting out of there.

  36

  The house was silent. Pearl’s nerves were jumping as she crept downstairs. She had taken all she could carry, stuffing bags into the pram, and now, fully loaded, she carefully opened the street door. With infinite care she closed it behind her, stepping outside into the dark night. She was leaving, her shoulders stiff with resolution. Dolly was back to normal, laying down the law, but Kevin had told her to keep Johnny away from his mother, and she intended to do just that. She was going to Bessie’s, and there was no way Dolly Dolby was going to drag her back.

  Pearl banged on Bessie’s door again and again, relieved when at last she opened it.

/>   ‘Bloody hell, love, what are you doing here at this time of night?’

  ‘I’m sorry, Bessie, but I had to get away.’

  ‘All right, come on in, but why didn’t you wait until the morning?’

  ‘Dolly’s back to normal and if I hadn’t sneaked out now, there’s no way she would let me leave.’

  ‘She couldn’t have kept you a prisoner.’

  ‘Dolly’s capable of anything,’ Pearl said as she put the brake on the pram, leaving Johnny asleep as she lugged her things upstairs. She then went down again to get her son, laying him gently on the sofa.

  ‘Right,’ Bessie said. ‘Start at the beginning.’

  ‘They’re going to sell up and move out of the area, and it’s as though the decision has given Dolly a new lease of life. Only yesterday she was a wreck, but now she’s back to laying down the law. She won’t accept that my marriage is over and insisted that I go with them to Devon or Cornwall.’

  ‘For goodness’ sake, Pearl, you’re not a child. You’re a grown woman and she can’t force you to go.’

  ‘I … I just didn’t want an argument.’

  ‘If I know Dolly, you won’t have much choice. As soon as she finds you’ve gone, she’ll be over here.’

  ‘Oh, Bessie, what am I going to do?’

  ‘For starters you can get that frightened rabbit look off your face and stand up for yourself. As I said, Dolly can’t force you to go, and you’ll just have to tell her that.’

  Pearl shook her head doubtfully, her head drooping.

  ‘Come on,’ Bessie said. ‘Let’s get to bed and we’ll worry about Dolly bloody Dolby in the morning.’

  With a nod of agreement, Pearl rose to her feet and lifted Johnny into her arms. She followed Bessie upstairs, her tired eyes widening when she saw her old room and the cot in the corner. ‘Oh, Bessie.’

  ‘Now then, don’t start the waterworks. I knew you’d be moving in eventually and the cot didn’t cost me anything. It was in the back room, but cleaned up nicely.’