A Daughter's Disgrace Page 19

  Looking down at her oversized creased shirt, she knew that at least the bump was real. However hard she’d tried to imagine otherwise, it wasn’t going to go away. She’d heard that shock could make women miscarry but the bump must be immune, as the events of the last day had held more shocks than the rest of her lifetime put together. So she was stuck with it.

  She realised she was at one of the gates into Battersea Park, which was buzzing with people out enjoying the Sunday afternoon sunshine. There was a bench free a little way along the path and she sat down, shielding her eyes from the glare. Everyone around her didn’t seem to have a care in the world. What would they think of her if they knew the truth? She’d just got used to the idea of being an outcast when suddenly she’d been offered a way out. But which would be worse – being reviled or ignored, or married to someone she didn’t love? At least she was used to being the butt of everyone’s jokes and being on the receiving end of abuse. She didn’t enjoy it but she didn’t expect any better.

  A group of young women wandered past, in bright sundresses, some with their hair tied back in patterned scarves. Alison had never owned a frock like that; she was too tall for the ones on sale at the market, and she hated showing more of her body than she absolutely had to. A few of them had bobby socks rolled around their tanned ankles. Others had smart sandals, the sort that didn’t fit her own long feet. One of them was waving at her. Alison squinted harder and saw it was Vera. Surprised, she waved back.

  ‘Isn’t it a scorcher?’ Vera came across to the bench, fanning her face with her hand. ‘I don’t know what to do with myself. Budge up,’ she added, calling out to her friends that she’d catch up with them. ‘Ta. How are you? Haven’t seen you for a while.’

  ‘I was going to pop in to see you yesterday,’ Alison said. ‘But then it all went wrong. I know it had to happen but I was hoping to get away with it for a while longer. Anyway Mum’s found out about the baby and thrown me out.’

  ‘Oh no!’ Vera’s hands flew to her face. ‘What happened exactly? What did you do?’

  Alison explained, leaving out the part about wanting to kill herself, and then laid out her dilemma. ‘What would you do, Vera? You’re braver than me. Would you risk having the baby out of wedlock and never seeing your family again? I can’t see you settling for marrying someone old enough to be your dad.’

  ‘Don’t you believe it,’ said Vera. ‘I know they all used to call you names and you never complained. You’re tougher than you think. But what’s he like, this boss of yours? I know my mum thinks he’s a good butcher but that’s not telling me much.’

  ‘He’s kind. He listens to me and takes me seriously. He’s got a nice flat. I think he’s quite good with money.’

  ‘Sounds perfect,’ said Vera, rolling her eyes.

  ‘But I don’t … you know. He’s not …’

  ‘You don’t fancy him, you mean?’ Vera asked. ‘That’s not everything, you know.’

  Alison shot a surprised look at her friend.

  ‘Come on,’ said Vera. ‘You know by now that half of what they say about me isn’t true. Romance is fine in its place but you can’t rely on it. Won’t pay the bills or put a roof over your head. So if a kind man with a nice flat and a healthy bank balance asks you to marry him then don’t rule it out. What’s your alternative?’

  ‘Mother and baby home then hope Mum forgives me, I suppose.’ Alison hadn’t put it into words before. She’d tried very hard not to think of that option at all.

  ‘So you’d go back to live with your mum if she’d have you?’

  ‘Where else would I go?’

  ‘Well then, that’s your choice. Not ideal, I grant you, but that’s your choice.’

  Alison sat back and tipped her head so the sun fell full on her face. She shut her eyes. As usual Vera had hit the nail on the head. Assuming she didn’t try to kill herself again, it was live with Fred, or with her mum and never be allowed to forget she was there on sufferance. At least Fred seemed to want her and didn’t call her useless all the time. She just didn’t think she could bring herself to touch him.

  ‘Penny for them,’ said Vera, adjusting her neckline. ‘Oh, will you look at that, I’ve gone all red. Now I’ll have these strap marks all summer. I should be sensible like you and wear a baggy shirt.’

  ‘Yes, but we both know why I’m doing that.’

  ‘True.’

  ‘I’m glad I saw you, Vera,’ said Alison after a moment. ‘You talk sense, even if I don’t like the choices I’ve got. But it’s not much of a decision really, is it?’

  ‘I couldn’t say,’ Vera replied. ‘It’s not my life. You’ve been really unlucky and got caught out when loads of girls have got away with it. Then they think they have the right to look down on you, when really they’re just glad it wasn’t them. Well, this could be your chance to get one over on them. I know you don’t fancy your boss, but if he’s as kind as you say then maybe he’s a good catch.’

  One of Vera’s friends ran back and called out to her. ‘We’re going for an ice cream. You with us or what?’

  ‘Fancy coming along?’ Vera asked. ‘Do you good, a bit of distraction.’ She got to her feet and carefully rearranged the straps on her dress.

  Alison shook her head. ‘Better not. I should get back. Let him know my decision.’

  ‘Come and tell me how it went as soon as you get the chance.’

  ‘I will.’ She quickly hugged her friend. ‘Wish me luck. I just hope I’m doing the right thing.’

  Vera tutted. ‘You will. It’ll be all right. Better go, even though ice cream always ruins my lipstick.’ She made a face.

  Alison smiled at her and set off back towards the park gates, her heart heavy. She’d better abandon any remaining dreams about meeting Mr Right, and put any thoughts of romance firmly to the back of her mind. This was about survival. She’d go back to the flat and tell Fred she’d marry him. She just hoped he would leave her alone physically. She never wanted to be touched that way again.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Cora’s working week started like a dream. For once she didn’t mind the early start. The summer mornings made it easier and the birds were singing as she made her way the short distance to the shop, where the paperboys were waiting. She caught their conversation as she rounded the corner.

  ‘Here she comes, horse face’s mother.’

  ‘Haven’t seen horse face for a while. Wonder where she’s gone?’

  ‘Must’ve raced off somewhere.’

  ‘Morning, boys,’ said Cora. ‘For your information, my daughter will shortly be marrying a prominent local businessman. I’ll give her your regards, shall I?’

  She unlocked the door as they pulled faces behind her back. She could guess what they were doing and didn’t care. That piece of news would now go all around the area like wildfire. She’d better make sure to tell some adults too though, as it was such an unlikely turn of events that the boys might not be believed.

  Even the chore of sorting out the piles of newspapers couldn’t dampen her good mood. She sent the boys on their rounds, confident that they’d tell anyone they happened to get into conversation with, and then hunted round for some writing paper. She’d have to get a letter off to Linda via the first post, to bring her up to speed. What a good job she hadn’t written anything on Saturday evening. Linda would be delighted at her youngest sister’s change of fortune, she was generous like that.

  The first customer of the day was Marian Dalby. Cora couldn’t have been happier. Mrs Dalby rarely came in as she had her papers delivered, and only occasionally dropped by to settle the bill or pick up something extra. This was perfect timing, as nobody would doubt the word of the foreman’s wife.

  ‘Hello, Mrs Butler.’ Marian nodded politely. ‘I’m looking for the latest edition of Woman and Home. My neighbour tells me there’s a lovely dress pattern in it and I thought it might be suitable for your daughter’s wedding. So kind of her and Neville to invite us. My Frank was very fl
attered.’

  ‘Neville’s only got good things to say about his boss,’ Cora assured her. ‘They’re delighted you’re both coming. Here you are, this is the one. Mind you, we’ve got another wedding to look forward to.’

  ‘Oh, really?’

  ‘Yes, my youngest daughter just got engaged to her boss. They’re keen to get married right away – it’s all been a whirlwind romance.’ Cora thought she’d better present it this way as the actual truth had to be kept quiet for as long as possible. Alison had returned the evening before, far from thrilled at the prospect of marrying Fred, but Cora didn’t care. She’d agreed and that was that.

  ‘Fancy that,’ said Marian. ‘Well, you’ll have your work cut out for you with all that to arrange. When will it be?’

  ‘They haven’t chosen the exact date yet but it’ll be before Hazel and Neville.’

  ‘Won’t that upset Hazel?’ asked Marian, who had heard all about the plans for that wedding. Strong rumours of Neville being under the thumb had also got back to her, but she took them with a pinch of salt. She knew some of the men at the factory resented any kind of interference from a woman.

  ‘No, she is delighted for her sister,’ Cora insisted firmly, though that wasn’t exactly what Hazel had said. When Cora told Alison she’d better get married before the summer was over, Hazel had flown into a temper and accused her sister of stealing her thunder and conning Fred into the whole thing on purpose. Cora had had to shut the windows in the hope none of the neighbours could hear. She didn’t want anyone, especially the Parrots, to witness another Butler family row.

  ‘How lovely for them both.’ Marian handed over the money and put the magazine in her shopping bag.

  ‘Let me know how you get on with the dressmaking,’ Cora smiled as Marian made for the door. That couldn’t have gone better. A few more customers like that and her job would be done for her.

  Luck was on her side, as one of the women she knew slightly from church came in to buy some peppermints. Cora made sure to pass on her news. ‘And to think there was I yesterday at the morning service, with no idea that my daughter’s boss was knocking on my front door at that very moment to ask for my permission to propose,’ she laughed.

  ‘Is your future son-in-law not a church-going man, then?’ the woman asked disapprovingly.

  ‘He goes to St Mary’s, where the services have different times,’ Cora assured her, though she had never asked Fred what his religious habits were. ‘And Sunday’s his only day off, what with running his business. He’s such a hard worker. Alison tells me he often stays up into the small hours balancing the books.’

  ‘And how would she know that? I trust you don’t let her spend the night at his house?’

  ‘Goodness me, no,’ said Cora, flustered at the woman’s pickiness. ‘She checks the books in the morning and can see they’ve been updated. She asked him when he found time to do it. He sacrifices his own sleep for the good of that business, and he says she’ll want for nothing,’ she added proudly.

  ‘Then she’s a very lucky girl,’ said the woman. ‘I’ll bid you good day, Mrs Butler.’

  Thank God she’s gone, thought Cora. Presumptuous old bag. Still, she’d no doubt spread the news, and there was a good chance that everyone at church would hear. It was pure inspiration that had made her mention St Mary’s. Now no one in the congregation would think it odd that Alison and Fred weren’t getting married there, and would assume they’d go to St Mary’s. In fact, it would have to be a low-key register office do.

  Her good fortune didn’t last. Winnie Jewell came in, face red from having been in the sun too long the day before.

  ‘That looks painful,’ Cora remarked. ‘Have you got any calamine lotion for it?’

  ‘I’ll live,’ growled Winnie. ‘That’ll teach me to do a good deed. I was round at Beryl’s helping sort out her backyard. Now the rats and rubbish from next door have gone she can make use of it, so we thought we’d try to grow some lettuces and that. Took us ages and then I found I got sunburn. Still, she’ll share anything that comes up with me so it’ll be worth it.’

  ‘Suppose so,’ said Cora, who had never really seen the point of lettuce as it didn’t fill you up. ‘Your Vera not helping you out, then?’

  ‘No, she was busy with her friends,’ said Winnie. ‘I don’t like to ask her as she’s on her feet all week at Arding and Hobbs.’ She never missed a chance to drop the name. ‘She mentioned she’d seen your Alison, come to think of it.’

  ‘Really? Alison didn’t say. Mind you, that’s because she has had other things on her mind.’ Cora plunged into the official version of the whirlwind romance and yesterday’s proposal.

  ‘You’re joking!’ Winnie began to laugh so hard that her face went even redder. ‘Oh that takes the biscuit. You aren’t having me on, are you? Your beanpole daughter and fat little Fred! Him with his bald head! What a pair they’ll make. She must be twice his height. I can’t wait to see it. Better hope they don’t have kids, imagine what they’d look like!’

  ‘No need to be like that,’ Cora said, affronted. ‘He’s a very successful businessman, you know. He promised me that Alison will want for nothing.’

  ‘As long as she’s happy to look down on his shiny bald spot,’ Winnie cackled. ‘Well, it must be a relief for you, Cora. You must have thought nobody would ever have her. Suppose beggars can’t be choosers and at least he’s got his shop. He’s a good butcher, I’ll give him that. But the thought of them two, you know … Oh, that’s priceless. That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.’

  Cora fumed as the other woman left the shop. She knew she’d have to expect more of that sort of reaction. It was exactly what she’d thought herself, but that didn’t mean she’d let anyone else get away with saying such things. It reflected badly on the rest of the family. Alison’s engagement to Fred was a big success, she reminded herself, and people would have to be reminded to see it that way, rather than commenting how funny it was that two oddballs had found each other. So what if she was young enough to be his daughter and able to see over his head? Looks weren’t everything.

  Although Alison had realised that Fred wasn’t short of money, unlike just about everyone else she knew, she was surprised when he told her about his account at Arding and Hobbs. ‘I’m going to put your name on it too,’ he said. ‘Then you can go in and see if there’s anything you think would suit the flat. Or if you wanted anything new to wear.’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ she said. ‘What, I wander in, say “I’ll have that”, and take it away without paying? Just like that?’

  ‘Well, I end up paying for it later,’ said Fred. ‘But basically yes. Then you don’t have to worry about carrying lots of money around.’

  Alison had never been in a position to worry about such a thing before but supposed Fred had. Still, she couldn’t get used to the idea. ‘What if I go mad and buy heaps of stuff? How would you pay it off then?’

  Fred turned to her properly from where he’d been cutting up a chicken at the counter. They were continuing to work together as before, and sometimes it seemed as if nothing had changed. Other times, like now, he was aware of how different life was about to become for both of them. ‘Look, I trust you. We’re a team now. You wouldn’t go mad. You’ve never done anything rash with money in the shop and you’ve had plenty of chances. You aren’t dishonest, Alison. Just go up there and see if you want anything. Wouldn’t you like a new dress for the wedding?’

  Alison hadn’t really thought about it. She was trying to block it from her mind, as she still dreaded Fred trying to touch her, although he’d made no move in that direction so far. They’d all agreed that the marriage should take place as soon as they could book the register office and a date had been set for the middle of August. That was only three weeks away. She supposed she couldn’t wear one of her baggy shirts and it was too late to ask Jill Parrot to make something – not that she ever wanted to go through that again.

  ‘All right,’ she s
aid. ‘I had better buy a dress. Not a long white one though. That wouldn’t be a good idea, would it?’ She smiled grimly. Everyone would see the bump soon enough and work out that she wasn’t a virgin at her wedding. Perhaps they’d think she and Fred had been carried away by passion beforehand and she cringed at the thought of it. Then again, that wasn’t as bad as the prospect of Hazel’s fury if Alison brought home a long white wedding dress from Arding and Hobbs. She’d be beside herself with jealousy and would probably hit her once more. Perhaps there were advantages to this new life.

  ‘I’ll make sure they have your name on the account and then you go along and choose something,’ he said. ‘Didn’t you say you had a friend who works there? Maybe she can help you choose.’

  On Saturday afternoon Alison made her way to the big department store, still not completely convinced it would be as simple as giving her name to the assistant and then walking off with anything she wanted. She’d made sure Vera would be at work and hoped together they could find something that fitted.

  Vera was excited to see her. ‘We’re going to have real fun with this,’ she said, taking Alison by the arm and leading her through to where the dresses hung. There were gorgeous displays of the latest summer fashions, from simple sheath dresses to sailor shifts, along with formal short jackets with exquisite linings. ‘It’s almost as good as shopping for myself. Are you sure you didn’t want your mum to come along?’

  ‘God, no. She’d say getting anything special was a waste of money and make me buy something I could then wear in the shop. Besides, I haven’t told her about the account or she’d want to have lots of new clothes for herself. And if Hazel got to hear of it she’d buy up the entire shop. You’d be out of a job.’

  ‘Not if I got commission on it,’ Vera smirked. ‘I could retire. It would be doing me a favour. Over here, let’s start with this …’ Secretly she was glad to have Alison to herself. She had no time for Cora and Hazel, fully aware they didn’t like her. They’d treated Alison badly when she’d needed them and she felt sorry for Neville, marrying into the nest of vipers.