Lost & Found Read online

  ‘No, no, I won’t.’

  ‘Yes, you bloody well will!’

  ‘Lily, Lily, calm down,’ Pete cajoled. ‘Sit down, love, all of you sit down, and let’s talk about this calmly.’

  ‘Calm! You expect me to be calm?’

  ‘Lily, I know you’re upset, but getting out of your pram isn’t solving anything.’

  Lily ignored him, and also turned her back on Alec as she spat, ‘Mavis, what does Edith Pugh say about this? Don’t tell me she’s agreed to her precious son marrying an idiot like you.’

  ‘She has. Mrs Pugh doesn’t think I’m daft. She likes me.’

  Alec drew Lily’s attention again and she turned to face him as he spoke.

  ‘Mrs Jackson, Mavis is telling the truth. My mother is very fond of her and delighted that she agreed to marry me.’

  ‘Who asked you, you pompous git?’ she spat.

  ‘Lily, stop it, there’s no need for that,’ Pete snapped. ‘I can’t believe you’re acting like this. This young man has come round to tell you that he wants to marry Mavis, and surely it ain’t the end of the world?’

  ‘Shut up, Pete. Mavis is my daughter and this has nothing to do with you!’

  Though it was unlike him, Pete’s eyes darkened with anger as he reared up out of his chair. ‘Right then, if that’s how you feel, I’ll bugger off and leave you to it.’

  ‘No, don’t go,’ Lily cried as she rushed to clasp his arm. Pete had no idea why she was desperate for Mavis to go with them to Peckham, and she could hardly tell him the truth. Pete had said he would take Mavis on and was trying to act the role of a father figure, but she’d shut him out.

  ‘I can see where I ain’t wanted, Lily.’

  ‘I’m sorry, really I am. It’s just that I’m upset and spoke without thinking. Please stay.’

  ‘If I can’t offer an opinion, what’s the point?’

  ‘Pete, please, I can’t handle this on my own,’ Lily lied. ‘Please stay.’

  He nodded, but said nothing as he sat down again.

  ‘Thanks, love,’ Lily said before turning to Alec again. ‘Right, you say you want to marry my daughter, but why the all-fired hurry?’

  ‘Because you’re moving out of the area and it will make it very difficult for us to see each other.’

  ‘There’s weekends and it ain’t as if we’re leaving the country. We’re only moving to Peckham.’

  ‘Yes, but as we want to get married, I can’t see the point in waiting.’

  ‘Can’t see the point! She’s only sixteen.’

  ‘I know, but I promise I’ll look after her. I…I have a good job, and Mavis won’t want financially. In fact, she’ll stay at home with my mother.’

  ‘Live with your mother! You won’t have a place of your own? Blimey, Mavis, how do you feel about that?’ Lily asked.

  ‘I don’t mind, Mum. I like Mrs Pugh.’

  ‘You’re still too young to think about marriage. I don’t see why you can’t wait, get engaged first, and in the meantime you’ll come with us.’

  ‘No, I’ve told you, I don’t want to go,’ Mavis cried. ‘You’re…you’re going to live with him, pretend to be married and…and that ain’t right.’

  ‘Don’t you dare shout at me!’

  Pete had been sitting quietly, but now said, ‘I know you want me to keep my mouth shut, Lily, but if Mavis feels that strongly about it, you can’t force her to live with us.’

  ‘She’s my daughter and she’ll do as she’s told.’

  ‘If you make me come with you I won’t pretend that Pete’s my dad,’ Mavis said defiantly. ‘I’ll tell anyone who asks the truth…tell them that you ain’t married.’

  ‘You wouldn’t dare!’ Lily threatened. ‘I’d knock your bloody block off!’

  Pete suddenly reared to his feet again to grab Lily’s arm. ‘Come with me. I want to talk to you in private for a minute. You two wait there,’ he ordered.

  Lily found herself urged upstairs, and when they were in her bedroom she shrugged off his grip. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’

  ‘I’m trying to make you see sense. If you insist that Mavis comes with us, she’ll be sulky, miserable, and what sort of life will we have?’

  ‘What is this, Pete? Do you want rid of Mavis? Is that it?’

  ‘No, I said I’d take Mavis on and I meant it, but I don’t think she’s bluffing. She’s growing up, standing on her own two feet, and what if your threats don’t stop her? If she tells our new neighbours that we ain’t married, where will that leave you? Back to how it is now with everyone giving you the cold shoulder.’

  ‘She wouldn’t dare.’

  ‘All right, I’ve never been one to care about gossip. If you want to risk it, that’s fine with me.’

  Lily didn’t want to admit it, but Pete was right. If Mavis opened her mouth the gossip would start again, and any chance of respectability would be gone. Yet still she balked at the thought of leaving Mavis behind, of losing the wages her daughter would bring in.

  ‘Well, Lily, have you made up your mind?’

  Still thinking, Lily lowered her eyes. Mavis had to come with them, and as her mother she’d see to it that her daughter kept her mouth shut. Yet Lily knew she was losing control of her daughter, and doubts crept in.

  ‘Lily…’ Pete urged.

  It was the thought of being back to square one, of losing any chance of holding her head high in the new neighbourhood that finally swayed Lily, and anyway, if Pete didn’t stint on the housekeeping, she’d still be able to salt a few bob away.

  At last she looked Pete in the eyes. ‘All right, maybe I should let Mavis marry that stuck-up git.’

  ‘She could do worse, love.’

  ‘Come on then. Let’s put them out of their misery.’

  Both Mavis and Alec looked delighted, and when Alec said that his mother had suggested that Mavis live with them until the wedding could be arranged, with all the fight gone out of her, Lily didn’t argue.

  Who’d have thought it, Lily mused, her eyes on her daughter. The girl was as thick as two planks but had landed on her feet. Unlike her, Mavis wouldn’t be forced to sell junk to make ends meet, but then Pete grinned at her and Lily smiled back. Pete wasn’t like Ron, he wasn’t a gambler, but as always on the few occasions she dared to think about her husband, Lily’s heart jolted.

  Once again Lily found her eyes on Mavis, and she gulped. The resemblance to Ron was so marked and she wondered how he’d feel if he knew his daughter was getting married, and that he wouldn’t be there to give her away. This thought sparked off another and she said brusquely, ‘Are you having a church wedding?’

  ‘My mother suggested the registry office.’

  ‘Did she now? Well, it ain’t up to your mother. How do you feel about it, Mavis?’

  ‘I…I don’t mind.’

  ‘What about family and friends? Will you be having a bit of a do afterwards?’

  ‘I’m afraid we haven’t really discussed it,’ Alec said. ‘We haven’t any family and, well…there aren’t friends, just acquaintances.’

  ‘Yeah, same here,’ Lily said, thinking that there’d only been her mother. As for friends, she had classed Kate as a friend, but the woman had turned out to be a viper. ‘So,’ she mused, ‘there’s just gonna be us there. Blimey, some wedding this is gonna be.’

  ‘I tell you what,’ Pete said. ‘How about we go for a meal afterwards, my treat?’

  ‘That’s very kind of you, Mr…Mr…er…’

  ‘Culling,’ Pete offered, ‘but there’s no need for formality. Call me Pete.’

  ‘Thank you, and as I said, it’s very kind of you.’

  ‘Right then, that just leaves you to sort out the date and then let us know,’ Pete said.

  ‘Yes, of course. I’ll go to the registry office tomorrow.’

  Lily looked at her daughter to find that she was miles away, showing no interest in her own wedding plans. Mavis had always been a bit gormless, but this was something els
e. Did she really want to marry Alec, or was she just using it as a way out? Oh, what did it matter? Now that she’d accepted it, Lily had realised that it was probably for the best. Mavis would be all right with Alec and his mother, while she and Pete could make a fresh start. There’d be just the two of them, and maybe this time, just maybe, she’d find the happiness and respectability she craved.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  PART TWO

  1962

  Sometimes Mavis found it hard to believe that nearly seven years had passed since her marriage to Alec, nearly all of them unhappy ones. She blamed Edith Pugh, her mother-in-law, a woman who had turned out to be nothing but a manipulating harridan. Mavis had longed for a place of their own; she had begged Alec, but she was helpless against her mother-in-law’s guile. Nowadays she had given up, despising her husband, a man who let his mother rule the house, her, and their children with a rod of iron.

  How long had it taken her to find out that Edith Pugh was nothing like the woman she’d portrayed before her marriage to Alec? It had been all right at first—well, other than Alec’s incessant demands in bed—but she had thought herself happy. The reading lessons had continued for some time, but when Mavis still found it impossible, her mother-in-law had eventually lost patience, her scorn making Mavis feel worthless again.

  ‘Mummy, Mummy, can I come down now?’

  ‘Don’t you dare let that boy come downstairs. He needs to learn that he can’t talk to me like that and he’s to remain in his room until his father comes home.’

  Mavis nodded, too browbeaten to argue with her mother-in-law. At least James had only been sent to his room, but if Alec had been there the boy would have faced a thrashing. She had always thought that Alec was too hard on their son, but both he and his mother insisted that when James was naughty the discipline was necessary. Spare the rod, spoil the child was their adage, and though Mavis had tried to intervene, it only made things worse and her five-year-old son’s punishment even harder. Thankfully James was a good little boy and thrashings were rare these days.

  ‘Mummy, please, can I come down now?’ James shouted again.

  ‘No, James, not yet,’ she called, unable to miss her mother-in-law’s smile of satisfaction.

  ‘Make me a cup of tea and then get the dinner on,’ Edith ordered. ‘Alec will be home in an hour and when I tell him what that boy’s been up to he’ll get the hiding he deserves. An old witch! How dare he call me an old witch?’

  ‘He’s already being punished, Mother,’ Mavis said before she left the living room. Of course, it could hardly be called that now, not since it had been turned into a bedroom for her mother-in-law, who these days found the stairs impossible.

  Mavis walked to the kitchen, hating herself, this house, her marriage, but most of all hating Edith Pugh, the woman she now had to call ‘Mother’.

  Grace, her nearly three-year-old daughter, was sitting on the floor, showing no interest in her colouring books and her expression mutinous. ‘Want James,’ she demanded.

  ‘I know, darling, but he can’t come downstairs yet.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘You know why. He was rude to Granny.’

  ‘Don’t care. Want James.’

  Mavis tensed. She knew her daughter wouldn’t be easy to placate. Since James had started school, Grace had lost her playmate and she missed him. The antithesis of her brother, who’d been an easy baby, gentle and amenable even as a toddler, Grace had come into the world fighting, squalling, demanding attention from the start. Now she was doing it again and if the screaming started Edith would take great delight in telling Alec what a useless wife and mother she was, one who couldn’t even control her own children. ‘Listen, darling, James will be able to play with you soon, but until then why don’t you colour in one of your pictures?’

  ‘No, don’t want to.’

  ‘How about a biscuit?’

  ‘Yes, bickie.’

  Mavis felt her knees weaken with relief. Grace was a greedy child, chubby from too many bribes of biscuits and cakes to shut her up, but Mavis was pleased that at least she’d managed to divert another temper tantrum. She gave her daughter a digestive, the child stuffing it into her mouth, while Mavis put the kettle on to make Edith a cup of tea. That done, she’d have to get dinner ready, and with any luck her mother-in-law would leave her in peace until it was ready.

  ‘More, Mummy,’ Grace demanded, holding out her hand.

  Oh, God, Edith was right, Mavis thought as she gave her daughter another biscuit. She was a useless mother. If only she could be more like Jenny Bonner, a woman only a few years older than her, who had moved in next door two years ago. Jenny had become a light in her life, a friend and confidante, and Mavis would slip next door to see her whenever she got the chance.

  ‘Mummy, please, I want to come down now.’

  ‘Not yet, James, but soon,’ she called, too afraid to abandon the punishment dished out by the boy’s grandmother, rules that had been set down the moment Mavis had brought her newborn son home from the hospital. If James had cried between feeds, her mother-in-law insisted he shouldn’t be picked up and, as a nervous new mother, Mavis had taken her advice—even though it had broken her heart to hear her baby’s sobs.

  Mavis heard the handbell, a small brass one that Alec had given his mother when she’d become confined to bed. She was being summoned again—nowadays nothing more than a servant in a kingdom ruled by her mother-in-law.

  Alec was on his way home, the early February evening cold after the warmth of his office. He quickened his pace, walking upright, well satisfied with his job and his life. He’d gained a promotion, and then another, until he was now head of his department.

  Of course, Alec knew he wasn’t liked by many people, especially the girls he supervised, but that didn’t worry him. Unlike his predecessor, Alec had been determined when he took over the department that it was to be run professionally. He had instigated changes, stopped the girls’ incessant chatter, and among other things, had insisted on a dress code. None of his many changes had been popular, but Alec knew that the now calm efficiency of his department hadn’t gone unnoticed by the management.

  ‘Hello, Mother,’ he said as he walked straight into what was once the living room. ‘How are you?’

  ‘In agony as usual,’ she complained, ‘and it doesn’t help that since I’ve been confined to this room your son has become out of control.’

  ‘What has James done now?’

  ‘He called me a witch!’

  ‘Did he now? Well, don’t worry, Mother. I’ll have a word with the boy.’

  ‘James needs more than a word. He deserves a thrashing.’

  ‘Do you really think that’s necessary?’

  ‘Alec, you have no idea what I have to put up with. I misjudged Mavis from the start, thought the girl had hidden intelligence and that I could teach her to read. As you know, that proved impossible. She’s useless, an idiot who isn’t fit to look after me, or the children.’

  ‘Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh?’

  ‘No, I don’t. I’m in so much pain, and need peace and quiet, but Mavis does nothing to stop the children’s unruly behaviour. They were chasing each other all over the house, running in here and then out again, slamming doors until I couldn’t stand it any more. All I did was to ask them both to stop, to stay out of this room, and I had to give Grace a little smack before she’d obey me. That was when James shouted at me. He said he hated me, that I’m an old witch. Not only that, Alec, I’m in agony and need my pills—but as usual Mavis seems to have forgotten them.’

  Alec’s lips tightened. Every day when he came home from work it was to find the same: his mother upset and, since her continual relapses, in great pain. ‘Leave it to me, Mother,’ he said, walking out of the room and along to the kitchen.

  Mavis was at the stove, stirring something in a pan, and there was no smile of welcome on her face when she said, ‘Hello, Alec.’

  ‘Daddy, Daddy,�
�� Grace said excitedly as she jumped up and ran towards him.

  ‘Not now, Grace,’ he said crossly.

  Her face crumbled, then went red before she flopped onto the floor again, kicking her legs and thumping the lino with little fists as she began to scream.

  ‘That’s enough!’ Alec yelled. ‘Stop that right now!’

  Grace was instantly quiet and Alec glared at Mavis. ‘See, that’s all it takes, a little discipline, yet from what my mother tells me you’ve been allowing the children to run riot. Not only that, how dare you allow James to call my mother a witch?’

  ‘He didn’t mean it. He was upset that your mother smacked Grace.’

  ‘That’s no excuse. If the children were upsetting my mother, they deserve to be punished. You know how much pain she’s in, how she suffers, and you should see that the children leave her in peace.’

  ‘Alec, I do my best,’ Mavis appealed.

  ‘Well, your best isn’t good enough. Show me your list. I want to see that everything has been done.’

  Mavis handed it to him and Alec saw that his mother had drawn a double bed, a vacuum cleaner, windows and an iron. ‘Our bedroom,’ he said. ‘I’ll check it when I go upstairs, but what about the ironing? Have you finished it?’

  ‘Yes, it’s all done.’

  ‘Good, but my mother’s in pain. She said you’ve forgotten her medication again.’

  ‘No, Alec. I’m sure I gave her painkillers less than an hour ago.’

  ‘You couldn’t have. One look at her is enough to prove that. Now see to her pills while I sort James out.’

  ‘Please don’t smack him. He’s already been sent to his room. Isn’t that enough?’

  ‘On this occasion, no, it isn’t. I won’t have my mother upset and James has to learn that.’

  Mavis looked distressed as she left the room, but Alec didn’t care. She should care for his mother properly instead of leaving her to suffer. He went upstairs, taking his temper out on his son as he gave the boy the thrashing he deserved.

  In Peckham, Lily had her feet up on the fender, skirt up over her knees as she toasted her legs in front of the fire. Life was good to her now and she was happy, or so she told herself. Pete was a good man, a good provider, but there was none of the passion in her love life that she’d enjoyed with Ron. There’d been no news of him for over eight years now, yet from time to time Lily still found her mind straying to her absent husband. He’d been a bugger, there was no getting away from that, but Ron had been the only man she had ever really loved and lately Pete had been pushing her to see a solicitor about a divorce. He wanted marriage, but up until now she’d resisted. Oh, she was fond of Pete, yet her feelings for him hadn’t deepened, in spite of all the years they’d been together.